High Tech Sales Jargon

Years of development

We finally got one that works

New

Different colour from previous design

All new

Parts not interchangeable with previous design

Exclusive

Imported product

Unmatched

Almost as good as the competition

Design simplicity

Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone

Foolproof operation

No provision for adjustments

Advanced design

The advertising agency doesn't understand it

It's here at last!

Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming

Field-tested

Manufacturer lacks test equipment

High accuracy

Unit on which all parts fit

Direct sales only

Factory had big argument with distributor

Revolutionary

It's different from our competitors

Breakthrough

We finally figured out a way to sell it

Futuristic

No other reason why it looks the way it does

Distinctive

A different shape and colour than the others

Maintenance-free

Impossible to fix

Re-designed

Previous faults corrected, we hope...

Hand-crafted

Assembly machines operated without gloves on

Performance proven

Will operate through the warranty period

Meets all standards

Ours, not yours

All solid-state

Heavy as Hell!

Broadcast quality

Gives a picture and produces noise

High reliability

We made it work long enough to ship it

SMPTE bus compatible

When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound

New generation

Old design failed, maybe this one will work

Customer service across the country

You can return it from most airports

Unprecedented performance

Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way

Built to precision tolerances

We finally got it to fit together

Satisfaction guaranteed

Manufacturer's, upon cashing your cheque.

Microprocessor controlled

Does things we can't explain

Latest aerospace technology

One of our techs was laid off by Boeing

User friendly

If you think this one's bad, you should have seen the previous version.