Amanda's guide to new computers

Installing Hardware:

1. If it isn't broken, don't fix it.


2. Once a computer is running reasonably well nail the case shut. See Rule 1.


3. If you have a techo nearby, weld the case shut. Show techo Rule 1.


4. Don't believe anything that says it's an upgrade, it never is.


5. If you must upgrade, wait until an even newer version is imminent. The delay will usually be minor, and you should get one that's almost working.

Installing software:

1. First consider if it's really necessary. If you must - backup entire system - twice - off-site. Reconsider again.


2. Never upgrade to an even numbered version of DOS. (Remember 2.0, 4.0 and 6.0 or perhaps you too would prefer not to!)


3. If you must have new software, your plan must also include a budget for new hardware - new, improved software always runs slower and takes up more hard disk space than old software.


4. When calculating productivity increases from new software, remember to deduct time for:
   
   • Installation
   • Configuration
   • Teething troubles
   • Learning curve
   • Lost work
   • Time kept on hold
   • Stress leave

Lastly:

• Plug and play - won't
• User firendly - isn't
• Interfaces - don't

Heartfelt additions to this list of "would be funny if it weren't so true" home truths are most welcome.